Divorce Diary Poems

HEARTBREAK

I go in the bedroom to
smell your pillow
the sweet scent of your body

Knowing you are gone
out of reach
I know it is pathetic

But I never had my
heart broken

I’ve been depressed for
ages - years
feeling numb,
an everyday gray
a snarky sticky monster
out at play

Now blessed I am to feel again
the real deal
It feels so good to feel
to love you no less
My grief is gratitude
disguised as sadness
(river of grief
heart on the sleeve)

I never had my heart broken

I’d rather feel this all
day long
than feel nothing at all

SOULMATES

Two fools on rough open waters
With no paddles
In our service
The hushed unspoken truths
Under surface
At our feet
The deep blue
And a raft that broke in two

A wreck won’t make a ship
All that’s left - take a dip
Sea of tears
Depths of feels
Take a leap

Broken & whole were our roles
To help each other find our souls

IN BETWEEN PLACE

Agony
Wash me clean
Of every
Unconscious
Fear-driven
Habitual way
I’ve shown up in life

As a dimmed down
Dumbed down
Inauthentic
Little Version of myself

Agony
Wash me clean
Of every
Take me back thought

Graduate!
Dance!
Sing!
Remember!
It all happened through you
Not to you

CHASM

I show up on time
to the minute
like a chorus
to a familiar song
The distance & me in it
eyelids shut long
Yet in your heart my
timing is wrong

Indebted embraces
Mandatory chores
the twofold loneliness
of opposite shores